Another cool, calm and collected week in the wonderful world of Scottish politics? Of course not - we don’t do that.
Loony toons
The tone of the week was set by a cartoon strip by Steve Bell in The Guardian. The first in the series depicted Nicola Sturgeon and Alex Salmond finalising their red-line issues in the event of a coalition with Labour (which is never going to happen for all sorts of reasons, but let’s not go there just now). Not Trident, the end of austerity or devo max, but incest and Scottish country dancing. The smart people in the room realised that, rather than being literal, this was a derivation from Thomas Beecham’s ‘incest and Morris Dancing’ schtick (I’m not really one of those people, by the way).
The reaction was...varied. Racist, xenophobic, and a hate crime, argued some. Get a grip, said others, or words to that effect at least. I found myself agreeing with the latter on Scotland 2015. If you, for perfectly understandable reasons, can’t be bothered watching the clip, I elegantly and articulately opined that it might perhaps be more edifying if we Scots ceased our perennial determination to be victims of something or other and just manned-up (sorry, personned-up). I did also question whether Humza Yousaf’s comment on last week’s Question Time that, in place of David Cameron at the TV debate, broadcasters put a bowl of Eton Mess, was also racist, xenophobic and a hate crime.
As if to ensure that our week was dominated by the frivolous, The Sun then put Nicola Sturgeon’s head on Miley Cyrus’s body. Wrecking Ball etc - get it? In other words, in any coalition the hen on the wrecking ball would actually be the fox in the henhouse. (Note to outrage police - I’m just having fun). The Women for Independence campaign was quick to brand this sexist, misogynistic, and generally just not cricket. But I saw Ed Balls’ head on Miley’s body a few weeks before. He’s a wrecking Balls, you see. But not a woman, so presumably not sexist but something-else-ist. OK, I’m moving off this subject…...
Leaders’ Debates
…..onto the equally controversial subject of TV debates. Here, STV announced a leaders’ debate between the leaders of the four parties with Scottish seats at Westminster. Good on them I say - no other party can win a Scottish seat so it is far less complex here than UK-wide. Howls of protestation, of course, from the Greens and UKIP, the latter of whom’s Scottish MEP told me on Twitter that he’d win in Falkirk. His deposit back, perhaps. But not the seat. STV have this right.
Back to that fox in the henhouse
More polls, like every other week, confirming the commanding lead the SNP has over Labour. The SNP has moved on from the era of trying to beat Labour, and onto the era of trying to replace (i.e. kill) them. That’ll never happen, say the comrades - Scotland’s ours, really. The Tories used to say that too, in 1965. Consider over a Friday pint…